The Reject's Rag
Vol. III No.2 February 2002
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1) Letter from the Publisher: We've got a Winner!
2) Second Place is the First Loser
3) An Interview With Our Winner
4) Media Tidbits
1) Letter from the Publisher: We've got a Winner!
We're please to announce the winner of our RejectionCollector of the Year Contest for 2001: Stephanie Scarborough from the state of Texas. Stephanie received a whopping 187 rejections last year, and is still alive to tell the tale.
Stephanie will receive these fabulous prizes (in a couple of weeks, as soon as I get back from vacation, I promise!):
* A copy of the ebook "First Class Male" by Raven West, graciously donated by the author. I'm not usually a fan of romance novels, but how could I resist a story that begins: "The bulky manila envelope was heavy with the weight of rejection as Postmaster Alex Bentley placed it on the counter and began filling out the yellow pickup slip." I don't want to give anything away, but suffice it to say that Alex, a "ruggedly handsome young man" is about to get involved with rejected writer Rachel who, alone in a secluded cabin, creates "romantic, fictional characters whose relationships were full of passion and happy endings. A sharp contrast to the frustrations and bitter disappointments of the real ones she had known all her life." To learn more, go to www.westmiller.com/robin/article/rw_fcm.htm.
* A copy of the ebook, "Cowboy in My Pocket," a romance novel parody by Reject's Rag subscriber Kate Douglas, which was No. 7 on the Hard Shell Word Factory bestseller list and garnered a rave review from Romantic Times Magazine. The story opens thusly:
"Michelle, darling, it's good to see you. How've you been?"
"Cut the crap, Mark. You, of all people, know how I've been. Forget the pleasantries. Why did you reject my story?"
You can read more at http://www.katedouglas.com/id17.htm.
* A copy of the print book, "The Essayist at Work," edited by Lee Gutkind (Heinemann, 1998), which includes my profile of Mary Kay Blakely.
* Last but definitely not least: We all know about the healing power of chocolate, so what better prize for the prolifically rejected author than a box of bonbons from the greatest, most delicious hand-made chocolate store in the world, the Chatham Candy Manor of Cape Cod, Mass.? To give yourself some advance drooling, go to www.candymanor.com.
For an interview with Stephanie, keep scrolling.
Thanks to all those who entered the contest. Better luck (or should I say, worse luck) next year!
2. Second Place is the First Loser
In the world of competitive cycling (believe me, I know, as my husband is an avid member of this closed society in which members prove they have hair on their chests by shaving the hair off their legs) winning isn't everything, it's beating all the other guys that counts. It was at a national bike race that I saw the T-shirt with the inspiring words, "Second Place Is the First Loser."
Along those lines, let's all congratulate Patrick Joseph Mc Namara of Canada, our Second Place finisher is who collected 68 rejections for "numerous poems, short stories and books, including two novels. Patrick sums up his experience: "Every single skull-white letter informing me about the publisher's disinterest in my endlessly rewritten art serves to remind me of my surmounting poverty and apparent uselessness as a human being." Well put, Patrick - believe me, I know exactly where you're coming from!
Patrick has won himself a copy of the e-book, Cowboy in My Pocket by Kate Douglas, published by Hard Shell Word Factory (http://www.hardshell.com) and his very own rejectioncollection.com letter opener!
3) An Interview With Our Winner
In the midst of her very busy schedule as a rejected writer submitting yet more material to be rejected, Stephanie Scarborough agreed to be e-interviewed by rejectioncollection.com. Following is the inspiring result.
Q: What is your background as a writer: how long have you been writing, in
what genre(s), and have you ever been published?
A: When I was in the eighth grade I started writing novels. Don't be jealous,
because they weren't any good. I began submitting them when I was fourteen. All I got were rejections because the novels truly stank. Most were form rejections, but one from HarperCollins had "Nice sense of professionalism" scribbled at the bottom.
My senior year of high school I had one decent novel and began submitting it to various publishers. Several asked to look at it, but ultimately, it was rejected because not everything in it was exactly plausible (though most editors did like the style). My freshman year of college I decided to ditch novels for the most part and concentrate on
writing poetry parodies and light verse. I produced some rather miserable first efforts, but a small publication called Nuthouse did accept one called "carry on". This was late 1999, early 2000.
During the year 2000 my poetry became much better and I submitted to more places and received a modest amount of acceptances in small circulation poetry zines. By late 2000 my poetry was somewhat decent and I discovered the world of e-zine and e-mail
submissions. This allowed me to send my swill to even more places, thus enabling me to acquire even more rejection letters. In the year 2001 I sent out more submissions of poetry than ever and received 76 acceptances and 187 rejections.
Q: Do you have a system for submitting your work? Do you engage in simultaneous
submission? Do you always have an addressed envelope waiting for when you
receive the next rejection?
A: I used to submit whenever I found a place that looked interesting either in
the Poet's Market or on the Internet, but I later developed a more organized
system of making a list of publications, what I would submit to whom and if I
would submit via e-mail or postal mail. I usually do this once a week. For the most part, I do engage in simultaneous submissions, unless a publication states that they DO NOT want them. I'd like to keep the editors as unangry as possible.
Q: How do the 187 rejections break down in terms of number of pieces submitted? What kind of pieces were they? Who did you try to sell to?
A: I generally submit batches of 3-7 poems to print and online zines and journals. I don't have any particular "packages" of poems I submit. I send what ever I think is appropriate (and as you can tell from the number of rejections I've received, my sense of appropriateness is very bad), which varies from publication to publication. I occasionally submit a short story or cartoon here or there, but it's usually poetry.
Q: Can you give a general comment on the tone of the rejections you received? Were some encouraging and some not? Were most of them/all of them form letters? Did any give you a glimmer or encouragement or a stab of despair?
A: I've received many encouraging ones. The most encouraging ones are when the
editor names a specific poem or line he or she likes, or that he or she found them at least somewhat humorous. The letters that simply consist of the words NO THANKS scribbled on a piece of paper, or the rejections that don't even have a letter are the most discouraging. So are those annoying little generic slips. I could paper my walls with those things. . .
Q: Do you have a favorite or least favorite letter from 2001?
A: My least favorite rejection letter was one when the editor began critiquing my cover letter and my biography, stating something along the lines that everyone tries being goofy these days and it's lost its value. She really tore it up, and I felt rather dejected for a while.
My favorite rejections are the ones when the editor admits that the poems at least made him or her laugh or smile. I may be getting rejected, but at least I know I'm doing my
job.
Q: Have you noticed any trends in rejection letters, either this year or compared with previous years?
A: The photocopied, form rejection letter seems to be en vogue this year . . .
Q: Have any of your rejection letters been helpful? Have you learned anything from them?
A: A few of them have been helpful. Some have suggested other journals to try and some have offered constructive criticism. Yet some are less helpful, such as the rejections when the editor doesn't even bother writing a letter, note or anything. It often leaves me wondering "Was it my breath?"
Q: What keeps you going? What's your trick for not giving up in despair? Any words of encouragement to our readers?
A: I write only humorous poetry. I get several rejections that say something such as, "These are great, but we like stuff that's more, um, subtle." Some editors don't have a sense of humor. Many funny people in the past have been rejected numerous times. "Weird Al" Yankovic (my hero), for example, was rejected by almost every record company before he finally got signed. Tom Lehrer (another musical satirist), who released his early albums independently, received horrible reviews, but had a huge cult following.
What's good isn't always what's popular, and not everyone like humor. It's all a matter of taste. Some editors are jerks, but that's their problem, not yours. When you find an editor or a publication that likes you, don't let go.
Q: What do you do with your rejection letters -- save them, burn them, frame them, etc.?
A: I have a big, green file box I stuff them in. I have two bulging dividers of
rejection letters, plus some folders of rejections from miscellaneous things and one, somewhat thin folder of acceptance letters. I've never thrown a single rejection away.
Q: How many times do you expect to get rejected in 2002?
A: Plenty more, though all my homework seems to take away from my writing and
submission time, I'm sure I'll get rejected plenty more.
4. Media Tidbits
Look for me in an article about rejection in the March issue of Writer's Digest.
A recent issue of the Westchester County Times also ran a feature about me, but I haven't seen it yet. If anyone has a copy, please let me know.
That's all for now, folks!
Keep the faith,
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
BACK ISSUES FOLLOW BELOW
Special New Year's Edition
Why a special New Year's Edition? Well, it was going to be the November 2001
issue, then it turned into the November/December issue, then the Special
Holiday issue, and then, all of a sudden I woke up and it was 2002, I was
still as rejected as ever AND I was behind on my newsletter. You know, that
awful,
two-month-after-a-series-of-unbelievably-debilitating-rejections-hangover
feeling? On top of all the awful things that have happened on the national
level, 2001 was especially rife with personal rejection for yours truly. And
you know what? The novelty is wearing off. So forgive me if I lose my
inspiration every now and then, OK? Sheesh, this is a FREE newsletter after
all.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1) Letter from the Publisher: Yes, Virginia, We Are Still Having a
Rejectioncollector of the Year Contest!
2) Rejection In The Age of Anthrax
3) Rejected by a Rejector of Rejection
4) 'The Sun' Smiles Upon Me. Briefly. Very Briefly.
5) And Now for the Good News: Cathy's Credits
6) November/December Winner
7) Quotes of the Month
8) More Missouri Review Synchronicity
9) Link of the Month
10) Rejection: Just What the Doctor Ordered OR
It Hurts So Good.
11) Rejection: Just What the Actor Ordered OR
People in Hollywood are SOOO Real! OR
We're All Bodhisattvas And Don't Even Know It
1) Letter from the Publisher:
Yes, Virginia, We Are Still Having a Rejectioncollector of the Year Contest!
Yes, folks, despite all appearances to the contrary, our Rejectioncollector
of the Year Contest is still on, and the deadline has been extended to
January 31st.
To enter, just send me an email (cathy@rejectioncollection.com) stating the
number of rejections you received in 2001 and giving a 1-2 sentence comment
on how the rejections affected you, your life, your self-esteem, your annual
income and/or your artistic vision. The winner will be announced in the next
newsletter, and he or she will receive these fabulous prizes:
* A copy of the ebook "First Class Male" by Raven West, graciously donated
by the author. I'm not usually a fan of romance novels, but how could I
resist a story that begins: "The bulky manila envelope was heavy with the
weight of rejection as Postmaster Alex Bentley placed it on the counter and
began filling out the yellow pickup slip."
I don't want to give anything away, but suffice it to say that Alex, a
"ruggedly handsome young man" is about to get involved with rejected writer
Rachel who, alone in a secluded cabin, creates "romantic, fictional
characters whose relationships were full of passion and happy endings. A
sharp contrast to the frustrations and bitter disappointments of the real
ones she had known all her life." To learn more, go to
www.westmiller.com/robin/article/rw_fcm.htm.
* A copy of the ebook, "Cowboy in My Pocket," a romance novel parody by
Reject's Rag subscriber Kate Douglas, which was No. 7 on the Hard Shell Word
Factory bestseller list and garnered a rave review from Romantic Times
Magazine. The story opens thusly:
"Michelle, darling, it's good to see you. How've you been?"
"Cut the crap, Mark. You, of all people, know how I've been. Forget the
pleasantries. Why did you reject my story?"
You can read more at http://www.katedouglas.com/id17.htm.
* A copy of the print book, "The Essayist at Work," edited by Lee Gutkind
(Heinemann, 1998), which includes my profile of Mary Kay Blakely.
* Last but definitely not least: We all know about the healing power of
chocolate, so what better prize for the prolifically rejected author than a
box of bonbons from the greatest, most delicious hand-made chocolate store
in the world, the Chatham Candy Manor of Cape Cod, Mass.? To give yourself
some advance drooling, go to www.candymanor.com.
The Second Place finisher will win a copy of the e-book, Cowboy in My Pocket
by Kate Douglas, published by Hard Shell Word Factory
(http://www.hardshell.com).
Good luck, and may the most despondent writer win!
2) Rejection In The Age of Anthrax
There's no question that, in these uncertain times, certain rights and
privileges that we all took for granted in a democratic society are going to
go by the wayside: Like the right to be rejected. Now, in two separate
reports, one from Robert Lee Brewer of WritersMarket.com called "The Effects
of Anthrax on Writers' Submissions"(URL) and another from Celestine Bohlen
in the 12/8/01 issue of The New York Times called "We Regret We are Unable
to Open Unsolicited Mail" (http://www.writersmarket.com/content/anthrax.asp)
show alarming trends by publishers, editors, and agents to be alarmed and to
refuse to open unsolicited manuscripts.
Says Bohlen, "Unpublished authors are used to rejection, but these days they
can blame anthrax. Anthrax has not only cost lives and caused panic, but
also emerged as one more excuse for all but a handful of publishing houses
not to read unsolicited manuscripts."
3) Rejected by a Rejector of Rejection
As a vocal proponent of the author's right to be individually rejected, I
was heartened, to read a letter to the Times' editor a few days later from
Howard Junker, editor of literary journal ZYZZYVA. According to Junker,
".the slush pile is a most democratic institution, the literary equivalent
of equal opportunity. We discard it at our peril. I read everything sent
to me, because I enjoy finding needles in haystacks and because, if I
perform any useful function, it is giving new voices a chance to be heard."
What a cool guy, I thought. So I sent him an email asking if he'd be willing
to be interviewed for my website. He replied via email with a subject line
that read, "thanks but no," as follows: thanks, but i'm against rejection
and for acceptance."
Gee thanks, Howard. That's why you reject 99.9 percent of submission you
receive - because you're so gosh-darned dead-set against rejection. And
thanks for not bothering to check out my web site to see what it's all
about!
4. 'The Sun' Smiles Upon Me. Briefly. Very Briefly.
My unwanted contribution to the literature of loss surrounding September 11
gained me a brief ray of light from "The Sun" magazine. I had a handwritten
note from Sy Safaransky himself, which read, "I was moved by your writing.
Thanks. By the way, I encourage you not to declaw your kittens. That's no
way to show love to a fellow creature." Did he really like my writing, I
wonder, or was he just worried about what I'd do to the cats? (To read my
unpublished gem, go to
http://www.writerwald.com/portfolio/magazine/magazine.html and click on the
first article listed.)
5. And Now for the Good News: Cathy's Credits
Pearls in Poets & Writers
Poets & Writers Magazine recently published my article, "Novel Research on
the Web
Is It a World of Ideas or Distractions? in their November/December 2001
issue. It's a really useful and interesting piece, if I do say so myself.
The writers I interviewed included Lee Martin, whose new novel,
"Quakertown," I highly recommend.
Hard-Won Writer's Journal Credit
My article, "Overcoming Rejection" got me a cover line on the
January/February 2002 issue of Writers' Journal. and very little else. To
be brutally frank, my pay was a one-year subscription. Oh, well, that's show
biz.
Have Rejection Letters, Will Travel
My career as the Martha Stewart, Heloise and Dr. Phil of the rejected writer
was boosted (OK, started. All right, beta tested.) at a rare guest
appearance at the Bronx Writers Center in December, where my two-hour
seminar, "From Rejection to Publication" drew rave reviews from an
enthusiastic crowd. To hire me for your writers' group, just drop me a
line - I'm cheap!
A Forthcoming Feather in Our Cap
We just learned that rejectioncollection.com will be listed as a web
resource in Jeff Herman's "Writer's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers &
Literary Agents 2003-2004."
6. Our November/December Winner
Kudos to George W. Smith, our latest Rejectioncollector of the Month (or
so). George one for his cheerful poem, which begins,
"I stooped and picked the package up. I knew what it would be.
I recognized the writing. It was mine, returned to me.
With heavy heart I opened it and read the little tag.
"I really enjoyed reading it. but it doesn't suit our mag."
To read the whole thing, go to
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=463.
7. QUOTES OF THE MONTH
On Knowing Which Side Your Bread Loaf Is Buttered On
OR Scrutinizing the Scrolls and Scrawls of Rejection
"For the majority of Bread Loafers, the ascent up the literary ladder is
slow and difficult, and publication is a far-off goal; a more immediate
preoccupation is reaching the level where they get a personal rejection
letter rather than a form one. Such handwritten letters are scrutinized for
embedded meanings as if they were the Dead Sea Scrolls, and are recalled
with absolute precision. One young woman, who had given up her job as an
advertising copywriter to concentrate on fiction, announced to a group in a
seminar, "I sent something to Atlantic Monthly, and I got a personal note
back for the senior editor, saying, 'We found your piece to be very well
written, but slight and predictable. Please try us again.' There were gasps
of empathy all around."
Rebecca Mead, "How to Be A Writer." The New Yorker, October 15, 2001.
Is There Really Light at the End of the Rejection Tunnel?
Is there paradise after rejection? "Many writers have shipwrecked their
lives on the shoals of domesticity. But remember, Dante's pilgrim at the
end of his journey finds paradise. There is such a paradise in your life.
Saul Bellow calls it 'aesthetic bliss,' a feeling that is so fine it
inspires us to continue writing against all odds, a feeling that doesn't
allow us to give up. So my advice to beginners and especially to struggling
writers: Don't give up. There is a paradise. Trust me, I know."
Philip Danze, quoted in The Writer, November 2001
Corny, But Inspiring
".I wrote a children's book several years ago. A dozen publishers rejected
it, so I did, too. Recently, however, I dusted off the manuscript and sent
it out again. Today I'm holding a published copy of my book, along with my
motto, 'Don't give up.'"
Kathleen Wilcox in Woman's Day, November 1, 2001
Oh, Puck It!
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
--Wayne Gretzky
(Quoted in WriteQuotes by http://www.WriteDirections.com.)
Peter Matthiesen Recalls His First Big Kiss-Off
I started writing short stories while I was at Yale, and I was still there
when my first short story, "Sadie" . won the Atlantic Prize, which was very
useful ... The Atlantic took a second story, and I got an agent. Then I
started my first novel and sent off about four chapters and waited by the
post office for praise to roll in, calls from Hollywood, everything. Finally
my agent sent me a letter that said "Dear Peter, James Fenimore Cooper wrote
this a hundred and fifty years ago, only he wrote it better. Yours,
Bernice."
Peter Matthiesen, interviewed in The Missouri Review.
8. More Missouri Review Synchronicity
The folks at the Missouri Review may be almost as obsessed with rejection as
I am. Submitted for your consideration: "Dirty Laundry: Hanging Out Your
Failures and Frustrations," a wonderful piece about how graduate writing
programs fail to prepare students for "one of the principal issues in a
writer's work life--rejection and how one stays on his feet emotionally in
the face of it. Read the article at:
http://www.missourireview.org/printable.php?genre=Editorials&title=Dirty+Lau
ndry%3A+Hanging+Out+Your+Failures+and+Frustrations
(See, I'm still saying nice things about the Missouri Review even though
they dissed me by ignoring my offer to help them judge their highly
derivative 'Rotten Rejections' contest.)
9. Link of the Month
"Have You Had A Paper Rejected Lately?" Want to know what they said when
they rejected brilliant ideas like the radio, Federal Express, Mrs. Field's
Cookies, the airplane, etc.? Visit
http://www.columbia.edu/%7Exs23/reject.htm
10. Rejection: Just What the Doctor Ordered OR
It Hurts So Good
From "Making Books", The New York Times, October 11, "Doctor's Study the
Gory Details" about two physician/authors who teach other doctors how to
write medical thrillers:
"Doctors have dreams of getting out of the managed-care rat race and
entering another rat race," Dr. Gerritsen (one of the teachers) said. "They
have arrogance, they haven't failed, and writing becomes their first
rejection. That's why the course is popular."
11. Rejection: Just What the Actor Ordered OR
People in Hollywood are SOOO Real! OR
We're All Bodhisattvas And Don't Even Know It
Oliver Hudson is the son of Goldie Hawn and the brother of Kate Hudson, and
after working as a production assistant and a model, he's trying his hand at
the acting business, too, according to Vogue's November issue.
"From there, the transition to acting was a natural one, though one of the
things that initially attracted him was the difficulty," the article reads.
Said the budding young hunk: "Everything has been easy for me. But with my
first taste of rejection, I learned more about myself that I ever had in my
life."
Along those lines, we rejected writers are truly enlightened beings.
Enjoy your satori, and best wishes for more illuminating experiences (or
fewer, if you must be that crass and materialistic) in 2002!
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
BACK ISSUES BEGIN HERE:
1. Letter from the Publisher: When Depression Goes Global OR
Please Give Me Back My Mid-Life Crisis!
2. Saved By Rejection
3. Suicidal Poet's Words Ring True for My Inner Rejected Essayist
4. "Nasty Rejections Contest" Expose Follow-Up
5. Rejectioncollector of Year Contest Deadline Approaches
6. Rejectioncollectors of the Month: September and October
7. Depressing Annals of Ageism from the Other Side of the Pond
8. Words of Wisdom from The King
9. Vanity Press Preaches to the Choir
10. New Newsletter Feature: Link of the Month
11. Media Alert
12. The Stars Never Lie. But They Do Oversimplify.
1. Letter from the Publisher: When Depression Goes Global OR
Please Give Me Back My Mid-Life Crisis!
You know, it was really was kind of annoying. There I was, minding my own business, smack-dab in the middle of the kind of full-blown mid-life crisis that only a pampered bourgeois materialistic Satan-worshipping Westerner can have, when along came the World Trade Center tragedy. And I thought I'd been depressed on September 10th!
As most of you know, in the face of national tragedy I canned the September issue of The Reject's Rag. Instead I sent out an email reminder that writing is not as trivial an occupation as it may have appeared to be in the heat (and smoke and dust) of the moment. (Thanks to the readers who responded to that one; I really did appreciate it.)
I wasn't alone in taking a break from humor. My favorite website, www.theonion.com, also took a moratorium. Even the talk show hosts shut up.
Read these articles and you'll see what I mean.
"US Vows to Defeat Whoever It Is We're at War With" http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/us_vows_to_defeat_whoever.html
"Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell" http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/hijackers_surprised.html
and "Not Knowing What Else to Do, Woman Bakes American Flag Cake" http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/woman_bakes_flag_cake.html
2. Saved by Rejection
But what really shocked me out of my own stunned sense of nihilism and universal existential despair -- and back to my comforting person neuroses and handwringing-as-usual was writing my own heartfelt, beautifully crafted essay about the tragedy.
Well, not exactly writing it. More, getting it rejected by just about every major U.S. newspaper and magazine under the sun. Yes, imagine my relief upon finding that, despite the fact that these miniscule setbacks in my life were absolutely minute, minor, trivial and irrelevant compared with what the families of the tragedy victims were going through, EACH ONE OF THOSE REJECTIONS STILL HURT LIKE HELL! Each one of them still gave me feelings of inappropriate rage, despair and angst! I was still alive, by God, (violins, please) and I was going to go on suffering, sweating and feeling worthless after all, no matter how much worse off anybody else was!
3. Suicidal Poet's Words Ring True for My Inner Rejected Essayist
"Today is the first of August. It is hot, steamy and wet. It is raining. I am tempted to write a poem. But I remember what it said on one rejection slip: After a heavy rainfall, poems titled 'Rain' pour in from across the nation."
--Sylvia Plath
Allow me to paraphrase: After a tragic terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, poems, essays and OpEd pieces entitled, Tragic Terrorist Attack on the World Trade Center: A Personal Look" rained down on editors' heads and sprouted in their email inboxes like fetid, poisonous mushrooms. And unfortunately, I happened to be the author of one of them.
Among my rejections was the following:
"Dear Catherine,
Thank you so much for sending your very moving piece. It was just lovely. Unfortunately, we aren't purchasing any articles right now on the tragedy. We have a huge amount on our site and have overspent our budget these two weeks. But I really appreciate your thinking of (namedeleted).net."
In another instance the OpEd editor of a prominent newspaper replied by email within two hours. In the subject box she wrote "I will take" (sounded like she was going to buy it, right?) and in the body of the email she continued "a pass on this."
But the most frustrating experience I had was an almost-acceptance. The editor of the local section of a major metropolitan newspaper known for its shabby treatment of writers called to say they were considering running my piece but was I aware that the pay is $0.00 and I would be required to cede all rights to them in perpetuity... In these desperate days, I just wasn't in the mood to give anyone a freebie. So I kept my dignity, and the piece never saw the light of day. Who's crying now? (Me, of course.)
4. "Nasty Rejections Contest" Expose Follow-Up
In case you're wondering, the Missouri Review never did take me up on my offer to serve as a judge for their highly derivative "Nasty Rejections Contest." To see their winning rejections, go to http://moreview.org/special/rejectioncontestresults.php
Then, email them and suggest that they link to my site, OK?
5. Rejectioncollector of Year Contest Deadline Approaches
Speaking of contests -- Don't forget, folks - at the end of 2001, you can enter our Rejectioncollector of the Year Contest by emailing me a tally of the rejections you've received during the year. Unlike our Rejectioncollector of the Month Award, this competition recognizes quantity rather than quantity. Rejections can be in any form: letter, email, verbal, etc., and you're on the honor system.
The winner will receive these cool prizes:
* A copy of the ebook "First Class Male" by Raven West, graciously donated by the author. I'm not usually a fan of romance novels, but how could I resist a story that begins: "The bulky manila envelope was heavy with the weight of rejection as Postmaster Alex Bentley placed it on the counter and began filling out the yellow pickup slip."
I don't want to give anything away, but suffice it to say that Alex, a "ruggedly handsome young man" is about to get involved with rejected writer Rachel who, alone in a secluded cabin, creates "romantic, fictional characters whose relationships were full of passion and happy endings. A sharp contrast to the frustrations and bitter disappointments of the real ones she had known all her life." To learn more, go to www.westmiller.com/robin/article/rw_fcm.htm.
* A copy of the ebook, "Cowboy in My Pocket," a romance novel parody by Reject's Rag subscriber Kate Douglas, which was No. 7 on the Hard Shell Word Factory bestseller list and garnered a rave review from Romantic Times Magazine. The story opens thusly:
"Michelle, darling, it's good to see you. How've you been?"
"Cut the crap, Mark. You, of all people, know how I've been. Forget the pleasantries. Why did you reject my story?"
You can read more at http://www.katedouglas.com/id17.htm.
* A copy of the print book, "The Essayist at Work," edited by Lee Gutkind (Heinemann, 1998), which includes my profile of Mary Kay Blakely.
* Last but definitely not least: We all know about the healing power of chocolate, so what better prize for the prolifically rejected author than a box of bonbons from the greatest, most delicious hand-made chocolate store in the world, the Chatham Candy Manor of Cape Cod, Mass.? To give yourself some advance drooling, go to www.candymanor.com.
I should warn you all that I've collected quite a few 'nos' lately myself. Don't let me win my own contest! It's not too late to send query letters and manuscripts out for consideration, so that you, too can reap a bumper crop of rejection letters. (The worst that can happen is, you'll actually sell a few pieces along the way.)
((6. Rejectioncollectors of the Month: September and October))
"I was encouraged to write. It wasn't my idea. But when I stand before my mailbox to retrieve my first rejection letter, I will be alone. There will be no one on whose shoulder I can cry. My ranting and raving will bounce off the walls of my empty apartment. Even if I tear up my novel page by page, I will have to carry the shreds out to the garbage myself."
These are the words of our September winner, Susan Richard. You can read her rejection letter at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=438
I chose Pam Calvert's entry as our October winner because it has a fine, upstanding moral lesson for all rejected writers. Check it out at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=434
You can also read Pam's personal rejection page at http://pamcalvert.www.50megs.com/pam'shumor.html.
Both Pam and Susan will receive their choice of a T-shirt from our wonderful sponsor, The Secondhand Stuff Company, which can be found at www.formerlywornby.com. And now a word from our sponsors.
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block... if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which will provide each Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous including Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more. Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. For more info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at 800.965.4603.***
7. Depressing Annals of Ageism from the Other Side of the Pond
In an August issue, The Times of London ran an article called "Too old to be on the shelf," which begins, "Even established writers are finding it difficult to get their books published once they are past the grand old age of 30."
The article quoted Fay Weldon, as follows: "I think it is virtually impossible now for any novelist over the age of 30 to get published even if... they are successful. Publishers are not interested because their editors are all aged about 12 and they only want books by girls in their twenties, particularly if they are pretty."
Speaking of 78-year-old novelist Francis King, Beryl Bainbridge told the Times, "If Francis wrote another novel now and sent in a photograph of a bimbo and said he was 23 and pregnant, he'd be all over the newspapers."
8. Words of Wisdom from The King
OK, I admit it - when Stephen King's bestselling book, "On Writing," came out in paperback, I went out to my local mega-book-related-products-that-also-sells-coffee-related products-exurban-chain-store and picked up a copy. (I may have even broken down and bought an outrageously priced foul-tasting cup of coffee swaddled in corrugated cardboard, too -- but if anyone asks me in public, I'll deny it.) I have to admit there were sections of the book that I thoroughly enjoyed and that made King seem too likable to hate, no matter how famous he becomes. Take this, for example:
"Eula-Beulah (his babysitter when he was a kid) was prone to farts - the kind that are both loud and smelly. Sometimes when she was so afflicted, she would throw me on the couch, drop her wool-skirted butt on my face, and let loose. "Pow!" she'd cry in high glee. It was like being buried in marshgas fireworks. I remember the dark, the sense that I was suffocating, and I remember laughing. Because, while what was happening was sort of horrible, it was also sort of funny. In many ways, Eula-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors."
9. Vanity Press Preaches to the Choir
I don't know how it happened, but five minutes after I copyrighted my first rejected novel, I got a bulk-mailing-type "personal" letter addressed to "Mr. C. Wald" inviting me to submit my manuscript to the Dorrance Publishing Company. These poor, misguided folks had no idea who they were dealing with: The Queen of Rejection herself!
"As an author," their direct mail piece unnecessarily reads, "you are probably aware of (and perhaps have experienced) some of the problems of trying to get your work published by a commercial publisher. Just having your manuscript read by most commercial publishers is difficult and usually involves long delays."
10. New Newsletter Feature: Link of the Month
My pick for this month is www.softskull.com, the folks the Village Voice calls "the punks of publishing." Visit the site to remind yourself how bourgeois you've become in your old age, or to congratulate yourself that you haven't, or aren't, whatever.
I especially love softskull's submission guidelines, which function as a sort of universal pre-rejection letter. Here's a sample:
"We are not interested in any of the following:
1. Thrillers of any sort.
2. Novels about Jesus, or neo-Jesus, or a cyber-Jesus, or the next Jesus. ...
3. Near-future adventures where a new Lenin emerges from the masses and does the
Russian Revolution right.
4. Whimsical tales of love and laughter as petit bourgeois women travel the world and
find true love after facing the hard realities of having sex with a swarthy ethnic type."
Want to read the whole thing? Go to http://www.softskull.com/about/what_we_want.html
11. Media Alert
I was interviewed by a reporter from the Westchester County Times and a photographer even came to the house to take a few pictures of me posing at my computer, looking forlorn. This was not a big stretch for me, I have to admit. (Depressed? I can do depressed! Do you want depressed and horrified, or just plain dejected?) The article will appear in the paper's November issue.
I was also e-interviewed by www.writersmarket.com. Anyone who subscribes can read my pearls of wisdom there. Otherwise, read the interview on my site at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=458.
12. The Stars Never Lie. But They Do Oversimplify.
While I was up at Lake Champlain, Vt., during Labor Day weekend, I picked up a copy of The Burlington Free Press and checked out my horoscope. This is what it said, and I kid you not:
"Learning to overcome your fear of rejection is a simple process. If you get rejected a few times, you no longer have to fear it."
All right folks, that's it for this month! Be of good cheer, or if you can't do that, at least be like me and enjoy the hell out of your depression.
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
Copyright 2001 Catherine Wald
BACK ISSUES FOLLOW BELOW
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Letter from the Publisher
2. Ain't Synchronicity Amazing? OR: Where's Carl Jung When We Really Need
Him?
3. Rejectioncollector of Month Offers Sensitive, Self-Deprecating Prose
4. Quotes of the Month
5. Rejectioncollection.com Included in Downloadable Time Capsule
1. Letter from the Publisher
Summer's almost over, and soon all the vacationing editors, agents and
publishers will be returning to the massive piles of submissions on their
desks, refreshed, energized and ready to stamp them all with things like
"Reject" "Return to Sender" and "Not for us." So get your mailboxes ready -
and don't forget to post your letters and stories on
www.rejectioncollection.com!
Let me remind everyone that the deadline for our collecting the most
rejections for 2001 contest is fast approaching: December 31. Or January 15.
Or something. All you have to do is track the number of rejections you've
received this year and send me an email with the count. It will be on the
honor system. The winner is going to get a cool prize, although I haven't
decided what it is yet. If any of you subscribers work for or own any
consumer goods companies and would like to donate a prize, do get in touch!
Meanwhile, speaking of contests, here's a public service announcement for
those of you who have been dying for rejectioncollection.com to get more of
the recognition it so richly deserves for 'outing' the subject of rejection
and giving rejected writers a place to vent, laugh and move on. Why not
nominate me, as the site's creator, for The Writer Magazine's "Writers Who
Make A Difference" Award? For information on how to do it (It's easy!
Really easy!) go to www.writermag.com/wrt/html/sec_writerawards.html.
But hurry! The deadline is August 25!
One last item of interest: I recently spent two weeks at Ragdale, an artists' colony outside Chicago. Yes, although I normally only get to spend brief segments of time struggling with my novel, beating my head against the wall trying to figure out why it's not working, for a change I was freed from my daily cares and responsibilities, so that I could bang my head against the wall for hours at a time. What a treat! Fellow writers and artists, I urge you to apply to Ragdale and give yourself the gift that keeps on banging. It's a wonderful place, and you don't have to be famous and published, or even to sleep with anyone famous and published, to get in: you just have to impress the review board with the quality of your work. They offer residencies to visual artists and composers as well as writers. For more information, go to http://www.nsn.org/lfkhome/ragdale/.
P.S. I've been accepted there twice and also rejected once or twice - so keep trying!
2. Ain't Synchronicity Amazing? OR: Where's Carl Jung When We Really Need
Him?
Reject's Rag subscriber Virginia Settle brought the following to my
attention.
The Missouri Review Nasty Rejections Contest
"A publisher rejected one of Faulkner's novels with the statement "Good God,
I can't publish this. We'd both be in jail." Emily Dickinson's poems were
dismissed as "queer" by one publisher and "devoid of true poetical
qualities" by another one. Our own editor Speer Morgan was asked by a
publisher to try them again in twenty years. Marta Boswell, our poetry
editor, had her verse sent back with a note telling her "no fat font."
"If you send out your stories, poems and essays to magazines chances are
pretty good that like these writers you have been rejected too. Some editors
are nice, others indifferent, many instructive and a few downright mean.
Take revenge on those unpleasant rejections and enter our "Nasty Rejections
Contest."
"We would love for you to share your publishing tales of woe. All you need
to do is send us a few biting sentences from your most wounding rejection
letter. The rules are simple:
* The entry must be fewer than 100 words
* We accept genuine rejections, direct quotes only
* Withhold the name of rejecting editor, magazine, and/or publisher
"Enter now and we will sign you up for our newsletter to notify you of the
winners as well as to receive future updates about the website. The top
three entries will receive our Special Summer Offer free! That's a two-year
subscription to the magazine plus a free t-shirt.
"Send your entry to nastyrejections@moreview.org
Sorry to say but the meaner the better.
"This contest was inspired by our own experience and Pushcart's Complete
Rotten Reviews and Rejection."
Now, while those of us with a cynical frame of mind might call this contest
some choice nasty words like plagiarism, theft, intellectual rape, etc., I'm
just absolutely, positively CONVINCED that it's nothing but an intriguing
and, if anything, highly flattering case of synchronicity. You know, similar
ideas reaching different parties from the same vast, collective
unconscious....
As evidence of my maturity, big-heartedness, and generosity -- not to
mention my pathological fear of direct confrontation -- I sent The Missouri
Review the following email on August 10.
"Dear Missouri Review,
"I feel so *rejected*!
"Here I am, the world's leading spokesperson for the rejected writer, and
the
creator and Chief Rejecutive Officer since April 2000 of
www.rejectioncollection.com, the writer's and artist's online source for
misery, commiseration and inspiration, which has been featured in the
Circuits Section of The New York Times
(http://www.nytimes.com/2001/01/11/technology/11REJE.html), The Writer
(April 2001), MagazineWriting.com
(http://www.magazinewriting.com/journal/spring011.htm) AbsoluteWrite.com
(http://www.absolutewrite.com/freelance_writing/catherine_wald.htm)
office.com
(http://www.office.com/global/content/article/printme/0,3232,22425,00.html),
The Sydney(Australia) Morning Herald (July 24, 2001), BBC Radio 4, WGN
Chicago, etc. etc., etc; AND named one of Writer's Digest's Top 100 Sites
for Writers, AND which runs a contest similar to yours every month
(Rejectioncollector of the Month); AND which puts out the monthly ezine, The
Reject's Rag,
and *You haven't invited me to be a judge for your Nasty Rejections
Contest!*
"Is it too late for you to reconsider? Or for me to volunteer? Or perhaps
you'd like to quote me in your write-up of the award winner, or ask me to
contribute a short article for the issue in which you announce the winners?
Link to me on your website? I'd be happy to participate in any way you feel
appropriate.
"Then again, you could always reject me..."
The strangest thing is, they haven't written back!!! Isn't that odd?
3. Rejectioncollector of Month Offers Sensitive, Self-Deprecating Prose
"Like a dog returns to his own vomit, I will probably try that editor again.
What a typing whore I am. I KNEW I should have taken those
plumbing/refrigeration classes...."
That's a quote from Paul Labadie's entry, which one him the August
Rejectioncollector of the Month Award. You can read the whole entry at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=377
Here's Paul's comment on receiving the honor: "Thanks for having me as rejection of the month. I am truly grateful, not only for this, but for your whole website. It has given me solace when I sometimes feel I am the only one in the western world who is not getting
published. I always eagerly read the other letters of the month. So, it is
nice to finally have it be my time of the month (so to speak...)"
Paul will receive one of The Secondhand Stuff Company's wonderful T-shirts.
In fact, let me take the opportunity here to thank this company for their
steadfast support of the contest, and ask you to at least check out their
site, if not patronize them. I had one of their Shakespeare shirts, which I
loved, (It was a very high quality, thick cotton) but ended up passing on to
a friend who has the same birthday as Shakespeare. ('Twas a far, far better
thing that I did than I have ever done.) To check it out, along with their line of aprons, mugs and sweatshirts, visit www.formerlywornby.com or call them at 800.965.4603.
All artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of
Authenticity.
This month's winner has requested the General Patton shirt, which reads,
"Formerly worn by General George S. Patton while kicking butt, 1944." Paul
said, "I will wear it with the pride of a military medal, for "courage above
and beyond the call of duty in the face of an editor," sort of an "Unread
Badge of Courage."
4. Quotes of the Month
Here's are two quotes from a publisher who dares to go against the grain:
Nigel Newton, head of the British Bloomsbury Press, publisher of, among
others, J. K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame.
"Writing a book for two years alone in a garage, you need someone who cares
about you as a person as well as a writer. That relationship is the single
most important factor in producing a book."
"Publishing is a human-scale activity, and our principal suppliers -
writers - are human beings, not companies."
Right on, NN! To read the interview in FastCompany Magazine from which
these quotes were drawn, go to
http://www.fastcompany.com/online/50/bloomsbury.html.
And here's some inspiration for those of us who aspire to be award-winning,
respectable writers:
"...the trouble with being an award-winning, respectable writer is that you
probably are not making a living. If you write one well-reviewed,
well-respected, not bad selling, but not a bestseller list book every three
years, which you sell for a whopping 30,000 pounds, that's still going to
average out to 10,000 pounds a year and you will make more managing a
MacDonald's. With overtime you'd probably make more working in a
MacDonald's."
Novelist Neil Gaiman, interviewed in January Magazine
(http://www.januarymagazine.com/profiles/gaiman.html)
5. Rejectioncollection.com Included in Downloadable Time Capsule
We recently received an email from the Webmaster of Circa2000, a three-year
project to capture a snapshot of the Web for a downloadable time capsule.
"This capsule," he said, "will not be placed in a sealed container nor
stored in the cornerstone of a building. Instead, it will exist on the
hard-drives of all who wish to download all or part of it.
"Your site, Rejection Collection, as well as having been included in the
capsule, has also been featured in our online magazine under New
Acquisitions. To view the entry go to: http://circa2000.com/1-8acquisitions.htm
"On a personal note let me add that I found your site amusing and
wonderfully encouraging. If there is one experience all writers have in
common it is our rejection slips."
Thanks, Webmaster! And thanks to all you who subscribe to The Reject's Rag
for listening to me rattle on every month. Remember, you can always
unsubscribe by following the directions at the bottom of this email. Just
keep in mind that my majordomo software immediately informs me of the names
of all defectors, and that I take this very personally indeed!
Cathy
Cathy@rejectioncollection.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1. Letter From the Publisher: Rejection for a Fee OR
Let the Writer Beware
2. Rejected by My Own Subscriber
3. On The Meaning of Shite
4. And Now for Some Good News
5. Salute from Sydney
6. Parodist Picked: Our New Rejectioncollector of the Month
7. Rejection: For The Birds
8. Obscurity By Any Other Name...
1. Letter From the Publisher: Rejection for a Fee OR
Let the Writer Beware
You know, some people just aren't satisfied with all the free rejections
they can receive, just by mailing their work, proposals, cover letters and
query letters to editors, agents and publishers. Some of us actually shell
out our hard-earned cash to garner more rejections.
Take me, for instance. Ever since I dropped out of my writers' group a year
or two ago, I've been toying with the idea of looking for a new one. Since
it's so hard for me to get into The City from this exurban wasteland, I
decided to try an online course at a ever-to-be nameless writers' web site.
I had a few very nice conversations there with the person in charge who
suggested I sign up for a one-hour tutorial with one of the teachers to see
whether I liked her or not before signing up for her class.
Well, that seemed fair and the price was not exorbitant, $36 per hour. And
since I'm about to leave for a two-week stay at an artists' colony, I
thought it would be really helpful to have some feedback, even - dare I say
it? - some direction or inspiration, especially since I've been feeling a
bit stuck lately. AS IF!
The Wise One asked me to send her a plot synopsis, along with the last
chapter I'd written. I didn't have a synopsis, but I did my best to write
one up, and sent the stuff along. Soon afterwards I received her email,
which is posted at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=405 under the
tag line "suicidal in the suburbs." I can't resist including the last, and
most damning paragraph, here:
"What you need to do is give the story a more solid plot. It all seems
directionless and without resolution at this point. Essentially plotless and
wandering. So of course you're feeling stopped. You don't know where the
story is really going, you've taken yourself somewhere dead and stopped
there. Read everything you can get your hands on about plot and create one."
"Hope this helps."
She forgot to put the *smiley face* next to that last sentence!
Yeah, Teach, it helps a lot. Now excuse me while I take an axe to my
computer. Wonder if they're still looking for burger flippers at McDonald's?
BTW, according to my spell-checker, there is no such word as "plotless."
Clueless, yes.
Anyway, I felt like such a fool, for expecting a solution - or even some
help - for only $36. I also felt, temporarily, like jumping off the nearest
cliff. (Now that I'm recovering, I feel like tossing Teach off the nearest
cliff. Which feelings, I presume, will only intensify when I receive my next
credit card statement.)
At least posting the whole thing on my own rejection web site made me feel
better. Yes, rejectioncollection.com really does work! There is a
tremendous taboo against admitting your failures in public. I felt the
scathing hot breath of self-doubt on my neck as I prepared to push the
button that would zap my humiliation into cyberspace. Gives me more respect
for all those of you who have joined me in posting stuff on the site - oh
brave, foolhardy people, I salute you!
2. Rejected by My Own Subscriber
The following email from a Reject's Rag subscriber speaks for itself... too
much and too loudly. (Really, are all those capitals necessary?)
CATHERINE WALD..........I DO NOT KNOW WHO WROTE THAT POEM I READ: BUT IT IS
BAD AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY.......THE WORDS ARE ONLY SOMETIMES CLEVER IN
RHYME; BUT: THEIR THOUGHTS ARE ALMOST
PREDICTABLE. WORDS ARE LIKE JOKES; YOU'RE SEEMINGLY LEAD TO ONE OBVIOUS
CONCLUSION, AND SUDDENLY! AN UNSEEN CONCLUSION IS FORCED UPON YOU.... THAT
IS THE ART OF WRITING AND STORY TELLING...... THE OBVIOUS IS NOT THAT
APPARENT.
JUST YOU READ THE POETRY OF AUDEN........HE'S GOOD .......READ WHERE HE
TAKES YOU AND THEN WHERE LEAVES YOU........THIS IS NO ACCIDENT..IT IS HIS
GREAT TALENT. I ALSO CRY AND CURSE THOSE REJECTERS......BUT IF I WERE TO
EVER TRY AND WRITE POETRY ABOUT THEM, I THINK I WOULD SHOW NOT ME, BUT THEM,
AND THEIR
FATUOUS SELF RIGHTEOUS KNOWING........WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL........HOW DO
YOU IMAGINE THESE EUNUCH LIKE TALENTS FEEL REJECTING WORKS THEY COULDN'T
DUPLICATE IN 100 YEARS?
YOURS IN REJECTION AND NEVER ENDING HOPE.........
LEO TOLSTOY'S COUSIN
3. On The Meaning of Shite
Thanks to readers who wrote to explain that shite was not a misspelling of
Shiite, but rather a U.K. variant on a similar four-letter word. I feel so
much better now, knowing a web site visitor thinks my writing is ****.
4. And Now for Some Good News
Fans of rejectioncollection.com's new section, "Tales from the Other Side,"
will be happy to read the interview I've just posted with Mark Chimsky, an
editorial consultant who's held top positions at Quality Paperback Book
Club, Macmillan, Little, Brown, and Harper. Mark's insights about how the
editorial process works, selling book proposals and dealing with rejection
opened MY eyes. Here's a quote:
"The worst mistake writers make is not seeing a way to use the rejection as
a teacher. Believe it or not, there's something positive you can get out of
a rejection."
For more, take a look at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=413
5. Salute from Sydney
"Empathy oozes off every page, and when I was eventually forced to leave
rejectioncollection.com to write an article, there was a wide grin on my
face. Hard to believe that a site full of other people's woes could be quite
so uplifting."
So writes Rosanna McGlone-Healey of the Sydney Morning Herald in her piece,
"Death by a thousand rejection slips now has a cure," which was featured
prominently on the Australian newspaper's web site on July 24, 2001. To read
the whole article, go to:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/0107/24/opinion/opinion7.html
6. Parodist Picked: Our New Rejectioncollector of the Month
After all I've been through, I'm tempted to give the July award to myself.
Hell, I deserve it! But that would be even more self-serving than I usually
am, so I'll forego the honor.
Instead, I'll give it to another worthy candidate, Stephanie Scarborough,
a.k.a. a poetry parodist from Texas, whose parody of "Jolly Good Ale and
Old," entitled, "If I Can Make It Through the Cold," is posted at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=381. One of
my favorite lines:
"I have no cents, just tons of zines
And a burning hot desire
To grace the front of Life and Us,
People and Esquire."
And here's the winner's reaction: "Wow! Thanks! I'll always remember the
little people!
Our parodist will receive her choice of T-shirt from our wonderful sponsor,
The Secondhand Stuff Company, which can be found at www.formerlywornby.com.
And now a word from our sponsors.
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had
his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we
can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block...
if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our
Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which will provide each
Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces
aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous including
Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more.
Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. For
more info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at
800.965.4603.***
7. Rejection: For The Birds!
I saw a cool show on National Geographic Explorer earlier this month, all
about people and their pet birds. A poignant moment was when a woman was
rejected by her pet parrot, Rio, when he decided he liked her boyfriend
better. She spoke haltingly about the pain... it got me so choked up, I
could barely swallow my cracker! Here is a direct quote: "The bird dumped
me. It was a terrible feeling of rejection." Meanwhile, a bird behaviorist
who was brought in to consult with the unhappy trio, was sympathetic. "Many
people feel very isolated with their bird issues," she said. (I swear, I'm
not making this up!) And they say we writers are overly sensitive!
8. Obscurity By Any Other Name...
Does this make you feel any better? You're not an undiscovered or rejected
artist, you're an artist "on the bleeding edge." New terminology comes to
us via FastCompany Magazine in a quote from Brian Wallace of the Bellevue
Art Museum: "We're positioning ourselves as the museum that is closest to
the bleeding edge, the one that shows art by people who don't even have
gallery representation yet." So where's the publishing house for writers on
the "bleeding edge?" Quick, before we all hemorrhage to death!
That's all folks! It's time for me to go find that cliff... or a tourniquet
or something...
Cheers,
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com,
the writer's and artist's source for misery, heartbreak,
commiseration, inspiration and a whole lot of fun
P.O. Box 443
Shrub Oak, NY 10588-0443
for back issues, read on!
THE REJECT'S RAG
VOL II. NO. 3 JUNE 2001
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1. Letter From the Publisher: Oh, The Rejections You'll Get!
2. Wait - There's More!
3. And Not to Mention...
4. Happier Quotes From My Inbox
5. Rejection Student Aces Term Paper
6. Our Rejectioncollector of the Month
7. Rejection as a Selling Tool, Part II
8. Enough to Make Your Heirs Stand on End
9. Blurb from a Stranger
10. Don't Forget to Visit the 'Other Side'
11. Quotes of the Month
12. Look for Me at Your Nearest Newsstand
13. Sage Words from a Not-Yet-Rejection-Letter
1. Letter from the Publisher: Oh, The Rejections You'll Get!
It's graduation time yet, amazingly, no one has invited me to be a speaker at a commencement exercise. This despite the fact that my unpublished book about rejection would be the perfect gift for any graduating MFA student or BA graduate with a concentration in English, literature, any language, music or any of the performing arts.
Yes, I'm feeling bitter... I admit it. The demon rejection has bit me on the... in a very sensitive place, and boy does it sting! But, in the spirit of never letting rejection stem my creative flow, here's my unsolicited commencement message for my fellow graduates of the School of Hard Knocks. (For those of you who plan to spread this around on the Internet, remember, it is me, not Kurt Vonnegut, who is the author.)
Oh, the Rejections You'll Get
Congratulations, writer! Today is your day.
A word from your agent is coming your way.
You've picked up the message
From your answering machine
It isn't a dream and it isn't obscene
Just a 'please call me' in a neutral tone.
To contain her excitement. You pick up the phone.
You just know it's good news
It must be this time!
After all, just last week came a message sublime:
The editor at Prestige Publishing House
Adores your proposal. She isn't a mouse,
So she's going before the Great Editorial Board
To convince all those people, those ladies and lords
Of marketing, publicity, sales and promotion
Of your book's great potential - its brilliant new notions
Its appeal to an audience that's numbered in millions
And she'll get you an advance well up into the zillions.
Alas, when you reach your authors' representative
She offers no hope and is not even tentative
It's a definite no. A no-go. A denial.
They don't want your brainstorm. They don't like your style.
And as the familiar but unsettling news
Seeps into your brain, your eyes start to ooze
"The Board turned it down. The thing was a flop.
They said that your humor's too 'over-the-top."
Yes, I'm sorry to say so, but sadly it's true
Your rejection collection must now include YOU.
You thought you'd escape from the sorry parade
that you started. You thought for once YOU'd make the grade,
Unlike all the others who whine on your site,
You'd succeed, soaring over their heads like a kite.
But instead you're a loser. There's no other word
To describe the frustration. You feel like a turd.
You're one of THOSE people, you're in your own club
This gang you've created, this corps of the flubbed.
Looks like you can't head up a reject's web site
Without yourself feeling refusal's sharp bite.
So slink off to your den! Go sulk, sob and pout.
And then when you've mustered the guts to come out
At least write your Rag - it's been long overdue.
There are stories to tell and it's all up to you,
You Queen of the Rejects, you Goddess of Pain
Yes, write - ease the hurt that is lodged in your brain.
Write, though you know this will never make money,
Write, though you'll never taste best-selling honey.
Write! You've no other choice. This is your path,
Even though in the end you won't get the last laugh.
And tell the subscribers signed up for your 'zine
You'll forever be part of the rejection scene.
Oh, the places you'll go, the rejections you'll get!
Think you've seen them all? No: there's more 'no' for you yet.
There's no end to the downturns, the many bum trips
The stacks of form letters and rejection slips.
Yes, go off and scribble. Live out your poor fantasy,
You may as well try since you'll always feel antsy
For fame and success or at least publication,
And you'll never give up your poor acts of creation.
So get back to your desk! And perhaps to great things,
But more likely you'll just keep on missing brass rings.
2. Wait - there's more!
Not only was my book proposal rejected AGAIN, but the U.S. Trademark Office rejected my application for a trademark for rejectioncollection.com! An appeal is pending (but not appealing).
3. And Not to Mention...
...an intelligent and articulate site visitor named "wuying" who sent me the following email: "Your writing is crap. Your web site is shite. (SIC) How do you expect to write novel (SIC) when you cannot even hold a few sentences together. Do yourself a favour, log off."
I wonder why this person thinks my web site is Muslim?? And why he misspelled an easy word like Shiite?
4. Happier Quotes From My Inbox
From a recent contributor to rejectioncollection.com, on learning that his submission was posted:
"What can I say? I am humbled. I am honored. I am unpublished.
Thanks for accepting my submission. I know that if misery loves company, then
with you folks I am sailing on the Love Boat of Rebuff."
From playwright Gail Parrish:
"For thirty years I have been writing and submitting plays to theaters. For
most of those thirty years I have gotten rejected. And some of those
rejections have brought me to an emotional threshold that I wouldn't wish on
my worst enemy. If only I had had your website (or even the internet and
computers!) back then. There was no one. . .absolutely no one (human) that I
could share my misery with who could relate. I'd wail and sob, pour the
agony out in bad poetry, get angry at God for giving me the desire to write.
But it sure would have been great to have these letters to help me gain some
better perspective. And to not feel so powerless in the face of rejection."
5. Student of Rejection Aces Term Paper
Oregon university student Shannon Riley-Kilgore wrote to me in May with good news: "Thanks to your and the wonderful selection of rejection letters on your website, I earned an A on my term paper last quarter." Congratulations, Shannon - and let's give you some credit, too. Not everyone can come up with a topic like "The Rhetoric of Rejection" - or submit my collection to the rigorous academic scrutiny you did! I lovedShannon's paper and I hope some day she'll let me post an excerpt on my site.
6. Our Rejectioncollector of the Month
Our unlucky winner for June is:
Renee Hall, a.k.a. a seriously fed-up zine editor, who wrote, in Tales from the Other Side, "How to Get Rejected in Seven Easy Steps" Read her entry at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=350. According to Renee, "I think writing this piece helped to preserve what was left of my already minimal sanity!"
Renee will receive her choice of T-shirt from our wonderful sponsor, The Secondhand Stuff Company, which can be found at www.formerlywornby.com. And now a word from our sponsors.
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block... if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which provides each Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous including Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more. Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. For more info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at 800.965.4603.***
7. Rejection as a Selling Tool, Part II
From an advertisement from Writing World newsletter (www.writing-world.com)
"AUTHORS -WRITING THE BOOK WAS HARD: DON'T LET PUBLISHING IT BE TOO. Find our how you can get your book in print NOW without receiving a single rejection slip!"
From an ad in Poets & Writers Magazine, July/August 2001: "Tired of rejection? Rejection slips the size of grocery receipts never give useful advice. We do."
8. Enough to Make Your Heirs Stand on End
Last issue, I talked about how the heirs to the Margaret Mitchell fortune brought suit against a writer for creating (God forbid) a take-off on Gone With the Wind. As a prolific song parodist myself and a firm believer in the healing power of parody, I was thrilled to learn that Alice Randall was found not guilty, and that as a result of the lawsuit, her publishers have quadrupled or something the originally anticipated print run of "The Wind Done Gone." I can't wait to read it!
Now here's news from the European front, as reported on June 3 in "The Observer" - Victor Hugo's heirs are suing a French journalist, Francois Ceresa, for writing and publishing a sequel to "Les Miserables" called, imaginatively, "Les Miserables 2."
The Observer explained, "Hugo's descendants say they have taken legal action, not to 'recover any part of the dirty money' the publishers and authors have made from the sequel, but to take 'a moral and symbolic stand against what they see as the corruption of literary values by soulless global capitalism."
How very French! All I can say is, bonne chance or, may the least soulless capitalist win! Vive les valeurs litteraires! A bas l'argent!
9. Blurb from a Stranger
I recently discovered this blurb about rejectioncollection.com on www.thestranger.com:
"Failure is rarely celebrated in our culture, but rejectioncollection.com is trying to change that. This website features a brutal archive of rejection letters posted by writers whose work has been dismissed by publications across the nation. Ranging from insulting ("All this stuff may go on inside you, but why would anyone else give a damn?") to sniveling ("I feel extra bad, but...."), they all lead to one conclusion: Most editors are bastards who will never, ever publish your sorry little novel and would only laugh harder if they knew about your hot, snotty sobs of disappointment."
10. Don't Forget to Visit the 'Other Side'
Speaking of which, I've added two wonderfully illuminating and insightful interviews to "Tales from the Other Side" - one with Timothy Staveteig, Publisher of The Pilgrim Press (www.pilgrimpress.com) and one with Dianne K. of Clever Magazine (www.clevermag.com). You can read them at http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=366
and
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=360
respectively.
11. Quotes of the Month
"Dear Sir:
Congratulations! You got the job! That is probably what you were hoping this letter would say. But it doesn't, because you didn't.
Sincerely,
Personnel Department"
From "Shouts & Murmurs: Job Rejection" by Jack Handey, in the June 11 issue of The New Yorker
"Andre Dubus II's second novel, House of Sand and Fog, was declined by 22 publishers before W.W. Norton published it in 1999. The book then went on to become a finalists for the National Book Award and the Los Angeles Times Book Award. Last fall Oprah chose it for her book club. Over 800,000 copies are now in print.
"The Last Get-Back Boogie, a novel by James Lee Burke, had to wait nine years – and endure 112 rejections – before it sold. When the book was published in 1986 by Louisiana State University Press, it garnered tremendous reviews. The New York Times called it a masterpiece."
From "Boutique Agents: Small is Still Beautiful" by Barbara Demarco Barrett in the July/August issue of Poets & Writers Magazine
"Rejection hurts our little social-mammal hearts so much that just the threat of it convinces most of us to cooperate with our enemies. This is a two-step process: First we go dumb, learning never to speak our deepest truths. Then we go deaf, refusing to hear our own souls."
From "Take Your Freedom" by Martha Beck
In the July 2001 issue of "O, The Oprah Magazine"
"You just never know exactly why your book was turned down, so don't wear yourself out trying to guess. Move on."
Robert Massello, in "Writer Tells All: Insider Secrets to Getting Your Book Published" (Owl Books, April 2001)
"Why does the fear of failure hobble so many of us - given that as children, we suffer little embarrassment over the many failures that happen as we learn how to walk? I believe that Western societies (and American society in particular) focus too much on the "masculine" function of "doing." Those who do not compete aggressively in our "survival of the fittest" culture are deemed "losers," and since few of us want to be labeled a "loser," we barrel toward that illusory safe haven known as success. We forget how to trust our intuitive, spontaneous selves. We forget how to be open and vulnerable. As a result, we fail to explore our unknown potential."
Stephen Pirie, author, "Be and Become" in a letter to the editor printed in Fast Company magazine, March 2001
"The thing about writing is that no matter how many books you've written, what matters is the piece you may write, the thing you're working on now - it's like sex or food; the hunger starts up again, you need to go back to the place your muse is, it's the place, one of the few in life - where you are whole, and wholly yourself, and happy."
Posted on Kim Addonizio's Writing Life
http://addonizio.home.mindspring.com/life.html
12. Look For Me At Your Nearest Newsstand
Two pieces of mine that WEREN'T rejected:
"Techno Promo: Are You Ready for Digital Marketing?" in the July/August issue of Poets & Writers Magazine
A back-page essay for the August issue of Opera News. (Don't know the title yet.)
13. Sage Words from a Not-Yet-Rejection-Letter
A while ago I entered my rejected novel, "Woman in Flames" in the New Century Writer LLC Writer Awards 2001 competition and received a very nice (OK, form) letter acknowledging receipt of my entry and letting me know when the winners would be chosen. I really liked the last graf of the letter:
"We wish you the best of luck with the judges. But don't sit around waiting for "Hollywood" lightning to strike. Start writing another story and keep sending your work out to editors, agents, producers and other competitions. Ever onward!"
And so, on that note, I wish you all a happy summer. While you're on vacation, write! Resist the temptation to have your mail forwarded, call your answering machine or check your email: Your next rejection can wait till you get home!
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
Copyright 2001 Catherine Wald
Quote me if you like, disparage me if you must, but please MENTION MY NAME! And the name of my website. A link to www.rejectioncollection.com would also be much appreciated.
FOR BACK ISSUES, SEE BELOW:
The Reject's Rag
Volume II No. 2
May 2001
Table of Contents
1. Letter from the Publisher
2. On The Difference Between Erection and Rejection, OR
Everything You Wanted to Know About Rejection But Were Afraid to Ask OR Language Barriers: Dutch, French and Italian Reactions
3. Writer of 'Pomes' Fails to Garner Rejection Slip: Our May Winner
4. It Isn't Easy Being A Top Site
5. More Media Exposure
6. Rejected by My Own Subscribers
7. Hear What Top Editors Have To Say About Rejection:
Cool New Feature
8. Quotes of the Month
9. In Parting
1. Letter From the Publisher
It's spring, and, like the unmistakable odeur of overtaxed septic systems releasing their riches to the May breeze (if you live in a locale without town sewers, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about), the scent of rejection is in the air.
And I do mean everywhere! I'm not just projecting my own personal anguish at the fact that every moment that my phone doesn't ring, another editor could be dumping my book proposal in the trash bin. (My mantras these days: "No news is good news." and "It's really too early to hear anything yet.")
Submitted for your consideration:
A. Michael Lewittes of The New York Post ran a column called "The Direction to Rejection" in the April 19 edition of that noteworthy newspaper. In it he tells the story of a friend named Dave, who didn't get a job in a catering company - owned by his parents.
"What's worse was not only did his parents string him along for months, but they also didn't tell him in person, opting instead to send a rejection letter."
Other notable quotes from Michael's article:
"... often women and men make phony excuses to rid themselves of suitors. One of the more popular phrases is "I'm already sort of seeing a couple of people," which really means, "I'd rather spend my time with Ben & Jerry."
...my experience is that when one door opens - I'm usually pushed out of it."
B. In its May issue FastCompany magazine tackles the subject of unfair
criticism in an article, "The new culture of criticism is hurting you and your company." by Seth Godin (Read the whole article at
http://www.fastcompany.com/online/46/sgodin.html#rules)
"Here are five ways to be an unfair critic:
* Speak in absolutes.
* Criticize not just the item in question but the
background of the person or company as well.
* Criticize the motivation of the creator.
* Criticize the taste and judgment of anyone who
disagrees with your criticism.
* Make threats in your criticism."
C. In "Finish That Manuscript" in the May issue of Writer's Digest, Paul Bishop's first tip for getting past procrastination is "Learn to embrace rejection." He tells the story about a manuscript of his that received two rejection letters on the same day. "The first claimed I wrote 'crackling' dialogue, but stated my narrative was 'clumsy and colorless.' The second praised my narrative as 'sparkling' while condemning my dialogue as dull and lifeless.' His comment about this experience: "I still rely on those letters to strengthen my resolve not to let somebody else establish how I feel about my writing." The postscript to the story is that Paul later sold the same manuscript to a major publisher who found both the dialogue and the narrative 'riveting.'
D. A New Trend in Rejection for Job Seekers was reported in the April 25 New York Times Workplace Section. The story begins: "Not getting the job you want is bad enough. Never being told that you didn't get it can be worse. But giving the silent treatment to unsuccessful job candidates is a dirty little secret among hiring executives."
My comment: We writers have known about this one for years!
E. Meanwhile, in the legal arena, new, crueler forms of rejection are
constantly being dreamed up. For example, how would you feel if, after spending several years researching, writing and rewriting a book that turns out to be a best-selling novel, one of your interview sources decides to turn around and sue you for violating confidentiality and stealing her story? Ouch! That's what Arthur Golden, author of Memoirs of A Geisha is going through. That's what I call dirty pool or should I say illicit kimono staining? Meanwhile Alice Randall is being charged with "unabated piracy" for 'stealing' the story and characters in "Gone With the Wind for her parody "The Wind Done Gone." Her comment: "It was just my simple understanding that you were allowed to write parodies in America." What I
want to know is, how come nobody sued the author of "Rhett" for the same thing?
2. On the Difference Between Erection and Rejection, OR Everything You Wanted To Know About Rejection But Were Afraid To Ask, OR Language Barriers:
Dutch, French and Italian Responses
I was shocked, horrified and even titillated... but most of all mystified last month when I learned that a hard-core Dutch porno site had linked to rejectioncollection.com. What was the connection? Had I stumbled onto the latest sadomasochistic trend, like, say instead of getting beaten or whipped to induce orgasm, you have someone read demeaning rejection letters to you?
Finally my sensible friend Gerry came up with the only rational solution - due to language barriers, our dear friends from the lowlands thought my site was dedicated to glorifying erections instead of rejections... Boy, that's a laugh. I've always found rejection deflating rather than... oh, never mind. Hope the friendly thrill-seekers who stopped by weren't too disappointed. At least I never received any abusive emails in Dutch. And, the link has also
been terminated, so I guess those folks eventually figured out their
mistake.
On the other hand, the French thus far have read no sexual innuendos into rejectioncollection.com. On the Web site for Calcre, "an association in defense of authors," they refer to us as "succulente,"
"cathartique" and "étonnant" (surprising, astonishing, astounding, etc.). Here's a direct (translated) quote: "Besides the spirit of pure self-deprecation that permeates every page of the site, the acting principle behind this on-line 'Wailing Wall' is to bring information to authors about the laws that govern the world of letters in the United States or elsewhere that is often confidential or taboo." To read more of their comments, go to:
http://www.calcre.com/cnx/lnk/dat/REJEIONT.htm
Meanwhile, an Italian web site called rejectioncollection
"malinconicamente gustoso." Which means melancholically amusing. Which makes me feel melancholically proud.
3. Writer of 'Pomes' Fails to Garner Rejection: Our May Winner
Poor David Taub has been trying to get rejected forever, and now I'm going to make things worse by naming him Rejectioncollector of the Month for his story, "Doing One's Best to Get A Rejection Slip" posted under "The Rewards of Rejection" at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=337.
David had the brilliant idea of putting together the most awful tripe he could find, packing it up and shipping it off to one of those vanity presses that "accepts" people's poems, then "requests" that they buy a copy of the expensive and useless publication the so-called poem is printed in. You'd think a poem that reads, in part:
Wot's a pome if it don't rhyme
have to make it beat with time
Very serious stuff is pomes
you can write them in your homes.
would be a shoe-in for a rejection slip, but David was disappointed. Read his story and you won't be.
As compensation for the trauma of not being rejected by us, David gets the usual wonderful prizes: A copy of "Unpublishable! Rejected Writers from Jane Austen to Zane Grey" (Fidelio Press 1997) and a wonderful T-shirt from our wonderful sponsors, The Secondhand Stuff Company, which can be found at www.formerlywornby.com. And now for a word from our sponsors.
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block...if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our
Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which will provide each Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous including Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more. Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. For more info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at 800.965.4603.***
[[4. It Isn't Easy Being A Top Site
I've already bragged about being named one of Writer's Digest's 101 Top Sites for Writers, but in case you're a new subscriber, let me say it once again. You can find the writeup on page 61 of the May issue of Writer's Digest, and rejectioncollection.com is listed in the alphabetical listing of winning sites, http://www.writersdigest.com/101sites_2000/categorysearch.asp
but not in the category "Just for Fun," where it appears in the magazine. Go figure!
Should I drop them a note about this oversight? I'm not going to bother. I'll be honest, not to look a gift horse in the face or the mouth or anything, but the people at Writer's Digest are impossible to get through to. For example, this is how I found out about winning the award (This is true, I swear!). I got an e-mail with the subject line CONGRATULATIONS SIRS! Does that look like a junk email or what? Congratulations all caps no comma SIRS???? Sirs, in this day and age??? I almost didn't read it; and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it could have come from a trained professional at a MAGAZINE FOR WRITERS!!!
Anyway, the message was from someone in the advertising department who
wanted not only to congratulate me but to ask if I had a free $3,000 or so floating around that I wanted to use to place an ad in the May issue... Hey, that's perfectly legitimate, after all, solicited advertising revenues is a necessary function of running a magazine. At least they let me know I won!(Although I have to admit, for the longest time I was convinced the whole thing was a prank.).
But then, when I tried to contact them to find out about using their banner and link to the 101 Best Web Sites, my e-mails went unanswered. In desperation, I even contacted their customer service deparment: hopeless. I finally just asked my web site designer to pull the graphic off another 101 Best Site (God only knows how that person got it!).
Anyway, as Maggie Frisch, my new friend, colleague and editor/publisher of the print zine, Working Writer Newsletter, who was also cited in Writers Digest recently, says, "We must all be nicer to Writer's Digest from now on." BTW, if you'd like a free sample copy of Working Writer, send Maggie your snail mail address. You can reach her at workingwriters@aol.com or P.O. Box 6943, Libertyville, IL 60048.
5. More Media Exposure
Overexposed, moi? Never fear. But do read my interview with Cheryl Wray in the Spring issue of Magazine Writer's Journal at
http://www.magazinewriting.com/journal/spring011.htm.
6. Rejected By My Own Subscribers
This was a very kind rejection, but it still allowed me to indulge in
several moments of severe self-doubt. Is my humor too effective? Does all this rejection news get boring? No, tell me it ain't so!
"please remove me from your mailing list. nothing personal, but your humor has done its work for me and i need to de-clutter. many thanks and good wishes for your successful rejection future!"
7. Hear What Top Editors Have To Say About Rejection: Cool New Feature
For my new "Tales from the Other Side" feature, I've started interviewing editors, publishers and other people in the publishing business, and I've already posted two (if I do say so myself) fascinating interviews with two major forces on the Internet publishing scene:
Jenna Glatzer, who is editor-in-chief of two sites, AbsoluteWrite
(www.absolutewrite.com) and Writer Online (www.writeronline.net). Here's one of Jenna's pithy, to-the-point remarks: "The real crime is that GOOD writers aren't getting enough attention from editors, because we're burnt out from the endless stream from BAD writers." To read the whole interview,go to http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=343
I've also posted an interview with Moira Allen, former managing editor of the incredibly popular and widely read Inklings newsletter and is now the editor of Writing-World.com (www.writing-world.com) and Writing World - a website and biweekly newsletter for writers. When I asked Moira what writers need to know about the work editors do, she said, "I think all writers need to keep in mind that editors and publishers keep the READER in mind, not the writer. If the writer thinks about the READER first, rather than about 'I want to get published,' I think this would go a long way. Read the whole interview at:
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=341
8. Quotes of the Month
"Writers measure time in rejection slips." From a recent article In The New York Times Westchester Section about Louise Alpert, who finally succeeded in finding a publisher for her novel "Laura and Paul" after 16 years of effort. Louise tells her story at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=349
"Jean Cocteau suggested: 'Listen carefully to first criticisms of your work. Note carefully just what it is about your work that the critics don't like - then cultivate it. That's the part of your work that's individual and worth keeping.'
"Sane advice: I don't follow it. I read all my reviews, though not
necessarily every word of every one. The really positive ones are boring after a while - your own most generous self-appraisal quoted back to you - but I must admit I find bad reviews fascinating."
David Shields, in an article from The New York Times' Writers on Writing
series, April 9, 2001.
My comment: I think we SHOULD follow Cocteau's advice, which I find to be brilliant in the extreme. Far better to err in the direction of expressing our own unique individual voices than in the direction of bland, homogeneous conformity!
9. In Parting
In parting let me again thank my ever patient and forbearing web designer, Brian Bonini of gfx-design, for efforts above and beyond in single-handedly combating an endless barrage of thousands of meaningless e-mail messages that almost ate Norfolk, Viriginia, when a forever nameless, would-be subscriber to this newsletter let her grandson mess with her autoresponder, which autoresponded to our autoresponder, which autoresponded... you get the picture, and it isn't a pretty one. Anyway, thanks Brian!
May spring bring you acceptances, happiness, joy and inner peace as well as rejections and septic overflows...
Cathy
FOR MORE WINSOME, WONDERFUL WIT, ASCERBIC APHORISMS, REJECTION RUMINATIONS AND LIMITLESS ALLITERATION, JUST KEEP ON SCROLLIN', BABY!
VOLUME 2, NO. 1, MAY 2001
IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Letter from the Publisher
2. Reminder: Keep Collecting Those Rejections!
3. More Media Tidbits
4. Rejected By My Own Birthday Party?
5. BOOK REVIEW: A Chicken Bone Got Caught in My Gullet OR Grossed Out by
Too Much Schmaltz
6. Clairvoyant New Feature
7. Rejectioncollector of the Month: Frustrated Rocker Makes Winning Loser
List
8. NEWS CLIP: Rejection, Iranian Style
9. LOVE LESSON: Rejection By Girlfriend Spurs Illustrator's Career
10. Free Postcard Offer: No Purchase Required
11. Quotes of the Month
12. Parting Riff
1. Letter from the Publisher OR Can't Get Used to Something So Right
I've got REALLY embarrassing news to report, news which I hope will not
hopelessly and irreparably damage my reputation as a rejected writer: I've
been ACCEPTED!
Allow me to explain.
A while ago, I wrote a proposal for a book about rejection, which my
then-agent sent out and was (natch!) roundly rejected by publishers. (Some
of the letters are posted in 'Read 'Em and Weep.) Since then, I've rewritten
the damn thing ad nauseum - it's much stronger now - and I recently girded
my figurative loins and went in search of a new agent to represent the book.
Instead of playing by the frustrating and often fruitless 'one submission at
a time' game, I decided to pull out all the stops.
I mailed the thing out to nine agents, knowing full well that it was HIGHLY
possible if not probable that all nine would turn me down. So imagine my
surprise when, five days later, I got the magical phone call from an agent
who LOVED the proposal. She was so enthusiastic, and I was so thrilled, that
I signed on with her immediately. Now imagine my further shock when, a few
days later, I got two more phone calls from agents wanting to represent me.
Suddenly, I had become a REJECTOR myself! What a completely odd, weird,
uncomfortable -- and yet strangely satisfying -- position to be in. What a
great moment! Such problems, I can deal with! Or can I? Am I getting so
comfortable with rejection that I can't accept acceptance?
Will Cathy embrace success? Will publishers embrace her brilliant concept,
or will it be nixed once again? Stay tuned for the next installment, and
burn a soothing aromatherapy candle for me! (I prefer Pier 1 Import's Ginger
Peach, but that's entirely your call.) Tune in next month...
P.S. To top it off, I just got a phone call from Ragdale to say that I've
been accepted for a summer residency. I really don't know if I can take
this. It's positively nerve-wracking! Maybe it's just a late April Fool's
joke, or some kind of awful mistake - after all, they did *reject* me last
year...
2. Reminder: Keep Collecting Those Rejections!
Which reminds me, now that I'm temporarily out of the running (at least
until the rejections from publishers start trickling in), don't forget to
keep tabs on your rejection letters for the 2001 collect-those-rejections
contest. At the end of the year, he or she who has collected the most will
get a prize and instant fame via this newsletter.
3. More Media Tidbits
Speaking of, my 15 minutes of fame have long died away, but, my career as a
media darling is still gasping for breath. Submitted for your consideration:
* Rejectioncollection.com got a mention on page 47 of The Writer magazine's
April issue, along with a few memorable quotes from yours truly, in a
purple-tinted sidebar called "Misery Loves Company."
*Rejectioncollection.com also got a mention on a Swedish web site, "Argus
nu - Sveriges storsta bokportal." If anyone knows what that means, please
let me know. (My guess: Don't argue, patronize Swedish bookstores.)
* Thanks to the ongoing efforts of my amazing publicist friend Gerry, I
landed a two-minute gig on the best - OK, the only -- local talk show in
Westchester County, New York. True, it wasn't Oprah - but then again, I'm
not exactly Dr. Pill, either. I believe in *supporting* depressed, dejected
and rejected writers, not haranguing or beating them up in public or lording
it over them because I'm a fully recovered realized and zestful recovered
writer and they aren't --- nyah nyah nyah! Oh, God, now I've gone and done
it - I've blown my chances of ever being invited on national television, no,
no I really didn't mean it I was only joking I promise I DO believe in
changing the world one woman at a time, I do I do I do...
Where was I? Oh, yeah, cable TV. Let's see, I remembered to cross my legs at
the ankle, I wore a good color (red) and I only made one remark that was
completely inane, due to the fact that I failed to pick up the fairly
obvious cue given by the nice host. In short, I was eloquent, well spoken,
articulate, relaxed and only a little bit goofy. Hear that, Oprah? Rosie?
Ladies of The View? Anyone?
4. Rejected by my own Birthday Party?
Speaking of being a fully recovered rejected writer, maybe that IS a teensy
bit of an exaggeration. I got an inkling of how incomplete my healing
process as a recovering rejectee is when I struggled with the idea of
throwing a birthday party for myself. It was something I really wanted to do
and yet, I hesitated, because I was convinced my friends would REJECT my
invitation. Face-saving e-mail invites saved the day. And amazingly, some
of my friends actually turned up and we had a great time! I guess they all
had nothing better to do that night. Either that, or they were afraid if
they turned me down it would drive me right over the brink...
By the way, April 11 marks rejectioncollection.com's first birthday. We've
survived a year -- think I ought to stage a celebration? Not very likely...
5. BOOK REVIEW: A Chicken Bone Got Caught in My Gullet OR Grossed Out by Too
Much Schmaltz
I just have to ask: If you were a copy editor going through some
about-to-be-published text, would you change anything about the following
sentence? "The mission of this book - to turn you, America and the world
onto the value of writing - has attracted some of the finest authors in the
world to share their stories with you."
Yeah, you got it - it's the one word demon, "onto." That's "on to" to you,
Jack! I mean, if you want to turn people, America, the galaxy, space aliens
and all sentient beings ON TO writing, how about paying a little attention
to the actual WORDS you put on the page?
OK, let's face it, I wouldn't be so annoyed if I were madly in love with the
content of the book. But I'm not. True, I did find a handful of the stories
inspirational. But on the whole, I was as grossed out by "Chicken Soup for
the Writer's Soul"'s smarmy, homogenized,
every-tale-must-raise-at-least-15-percent-total-body-gooseflesh-by-the-500th
-word approach as if I'd been forced to stare for hours at that oily chicken
fat which is called schmaltz, rising to the top of a pot of soup. Sure, real
chicken soup always has some fat in it, but it also has to contain at least
a bit of MEAT. Real chicken soup is simmered on the stove for long periods
of time and never served before its time. It isn't just tepid,
vitamin-enriched WATER, for God's sake! Help, me, Lord, I'm ranting again.
Let's move on.
(Just for the sake of journalistic objectivity and balance: My 10-year-old
daughter *adores* her "Chicken Soup for the Pre-Teen Soul." Go figure.)
6. Clairvoyant New Feature
In case you haven't visited rejectioncollection.com lately, our Read 'Em and
Weep Page now features "Tales From the Other Side," a space where we use
material channeled from the 'other side' of the writer's universe -- agents,
editors, editorial assistants and their ilk. So far we have only two
entries, but they have sure opened my eyes. I'll never look at an
'everything' bagel in quite the same way again. (Why so few? Are the spirits
angry with us? Or maybe some of you out there aren't true believers???)
7. Rejectioncollector of the Month: Frustrated Rocker Makes Winning Loser List
Kudos to Juan Duarte, a.k.a. "a frustrated rocker from Miami," who has been
named Winning Loser for the Month and No April Fool. Juan claims to have no
writing talent, but this disclaimer is belied by his eloquent sob story
which begins, "Quite a few years ago, armed with several guitars, a binder
full of songs and a cheap demo tape, I moved from Miami in New York in order
to make it in the crazy world of Rock 'n' Roll." (To read it, go to
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=302.)
I love Juan's story because it shows that musicians go through humiliating
rejections, too. I especially liked the advice the "major song
arranger/producer/consultant gave the budding rock star: "You must always
think of the public first and never of your own personal gain or creative
release.".... Sounds like a mantra my guru gave me years ago, just
substitute 'your swami' for 'public' and you'll get the drift. Anyway, Juan
gets the usual bag of goodies, including a copy of Bill Henderson's
"Pushcart's Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections" and a cool T-shirt. And
now a word from our sponsor...
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had
his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we
can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block...
if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our
Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which will provide each
Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces
aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous, including
Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more.
Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. For
more info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at
800.965.4603.***
8. NEWS CLIP: Rejection, Iranian Style
An article in the New York Times on 4/1/01 told the story of Iranian film
director Bahman Farmanara, a man after my own heart who has more guts than
I'll ever have. Farmanara had 10 scripts rejected by Iranian censors in as
many years. Each rejection process took about the same amount of time as
human gestation; and the permission was needed in order for Farmanara to
shoot any film in his native land. "I figured they'd allow me a place in an
insane asylum, I became so depressed," the director says about the
experience.
Finally, he sent in a synopsis about a dying film director, which was
approved in one day, after which Farmanara couldn't help but ask - "Is this
because it's about my own death?" However, his problems were far from over.
Thanks to fundamentalist protests, the finished film was slated to premiere
with absolutely no advertising. This is how the director responded:
"In Iran, when somebody dies, there is a notice printed up of where the wake
is," he said. So he printed up 10,000 copies of a funeral notice with his
picture on it, warning about the burial of the film by right-wing forces and
got students to plaster it all over the city.
He added, "I didn't even think for a moment about how extreme what I was
doing was. Sometimes desperation helps." I hear ya, brother! Let's hear it
for desperation, the rejected writer's best friend.
9. LOVE LESSONS: Rejection By Girlfriend Spurs Illustrator's Career
Just to prove that romantic rejection can play as significant role in
artists' careers as artistic rejection, here's a clip from the 4/4/01 New
York Times about alternative comic book writer and illustrator Chris Ware:
"Mr. Ware might have never hit his stride in illustrating but for an event
that took place a couple of years earlier. He was working on what he
describes as a pretentious, conceptual comic when his girlfriend dumped him.
'It depressed me so much that I scrapped everything I was doing and started
drawing these improvisatory stories that I had in my sketchbooks,' he said.
'And that was the first time I ever felt an emotional kinship with anything
I was doing.'"
10. Free Postcards - No Purchase Required
If you belong to a writing group, women's support group, anonymous substance
abuse group, group of rejected left-handed Midwestern lesbians with
post-traumatic stress disorder, etc., and you'd like to spread the word
about rejectioncollection.com, I'd be happy to mail you a small stash of my
free postcards featuring the famous rejectioncollection mailbox and my
parody of Emma Lazarus' 'Statue of Liberty' poem.
11. Quotes of the Month:
"In order to survive in these wild times, you're going to make a total fool
of yourself with incredible regularity. If you can't laugh about it, then
you are doomed."
Tom Peters, quoted in Fast Take Newsletter, 3/27/01
"Once writers succeed in getting page to publisher, they will face the
anxiety of the aftermath - readers and reviewers. In Ms. (Anne) Roiphe's
view, good reviews prompt guilt "and bad reviews prompt even more guilt."
For memoirists, there is the additional guilt of invasion of others'
privacy."
From "Examining; and Easing; the Anxiety of Authorship" in The New York
Times, 3/27/01.
"More writers get rejected than published because of supply and demand.
That's why perseverance is crucial. But many writers are rejected because
they haven't done honor to their own stories. They don't want to work as
hard as you have to work to create a good piece of writing. They are afraid
to ask for criticism."
Julie Salamon, interviewed on Authorlink (www.authorlink.com).
"Look, they're not interested in a talking seagull."
What Richard Bach's agent told him after his novel "Jonathan Livingston
Seagull" was rejected more than 20 times.
Quoted in "The Quotable Writer" by William A. Gordon (McGraw-Hill, 2000)
12. Parting Riff:
Keep on rockin', rollin' and writin,' my friends.
Till next month,
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
FOR BACK ISSUES, SCROLL ON!
VOLUME 1, No. 8, March 2001
IN THIS ISSUE:
1) Letter from the Publisher
2) Rejected by the World Wide Web
3) Inspiration Fresh Off the Pushcart
4) More Media Tidbits
*Bringing Rejection to the Office.com
*Writer's Digest Wakes Up and Smells the Rejected Java
*Ferreting Out Another Award
*Dutch Treat
*A Distinguished Alumna -- Or Is That 'us'?
5)The Rhetoric of Rejection?
6)Rejection Expertise Lands Me Local Speaking Gig
7)This Month's Winning Loser
8)Quotes of the Month
1) LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER
This has been a difficult month for yours truly. Reality has hit me on the head like a cold blast of air wafting through the automatic doors at LaGuardia airport and wrapping itself about the exposed neck and beautifullytanned shoulders of a recently deplaned Florida passenger (as a matter ofprinciple, I only fly into the worst airports in the world) as she lurks beside the thus far unmoving baggage carousel, crowded with a bunch of rude,noisy, smelly people and their obnoxious kids, waiting, hoping against hope for her luggage to appear ....
For me reality includes the following: 1) My 15 minutes of fame are over,and I have to go back to working for a living. 2) One night, I left the proposal for my book about rejection alone in my darkened office and it MULTIPLIED. Now I have two proposals, both great ideas and they're both THIS close to finished), but I don't have time to noodle around with them because I have to ...work for a living. 3) Coming back from Florida to New York, I caught a really bad cold and all I want to do is curl up in bed with Proust, Oprah and the casts of Law & Order and St. Elsewhere. Whoa, sounds a bit crowded. Anyway I can't because I have to WORK FOR A LIVING. 4) I want to write another brilliant Reject's Rag, one that is poignant, funny,
bitter, biting and yet inspiring, and I want to hone every sentence until itsings, but I don't have time because I have to ..... you get the picture. 5)I decided while I was on vacation that I know where I want to go with my fiction, and I'm dying to get back to work on it, but I can't yetbecause.... Etc.
OK, OK, I got that out of my system. Yes, I'm fine, everything is going tobe fine, really...
2)AND THEN IT GOT WORSE...
REJECTED BY THE WORLD WIDE WEB
I've never tried to make a secret of the fact that I'm a technological
idiot. But others are sometimes shocked at my total ignorance of the way the web works. Then again, I'm often shocked at some people's conception of "customer service."
Last week, I went to do some work on rejectioncollection.com, and guess what - it wasn't there! I had no idea why. Finally, my web site designer gently suggested that I may have neglected to pay my renewal fee to a certain registration service. I didn't get it. I had NO IDEA... I mean, I thought when you registered your site name, all that did was protect the name from being used by other people. I had no idea these guys could PULL THE PLUG on your site if they wanted to!
Well, now I know. Turns out, what happened was, the service in question, I'll call them "x.com" had an old, no longer valid email address for me. So when they sent me a renewal notice, via email, it bounced back. At that point, did it occur to them to contact me THROUGH THE WEB SITE ITSELF? DUH!Of course not. Or to actually telephone me or, God forbid, send me a snail mail letter? No way! When, after spending a cumulative total of 2 hours on hold meditating on the famous Zen koan, "Your call is important to us," I
finally spoke to a customer service manager, he explained that "We have millions of customers, and we don't have time to call them all." I quietly,and with great restraint, pointed out that he did say "customers," not "charity cases," and that these customers were actually paying a fee, and therefore might be entitled to a simple courtesy like a phone call. Didn't make a dent. Later, a much nicer manager got me hooked back up. (Really, he was VERY nice!) And all I had to do was beg, plead, threaten a lawsuit, pay a $35 renewal fee and promise them my first-born son (whose name happens to be Red Chief). Anyway, the site was down for about five days, and I shudder
to think how many people who were turned away will never come back.
But you'll come back, won't you? And tell all your friends?
Oh God, what if "x.com" reads this, gets angry with me, and decides to pullthe plug again? Really, I take it all back. I didn't mean any of that. I DO believe in customer service, I DO believe in customer service, I do I do I do I do...
3) INSPIRATION FRESH OFF THE PUSHCART
"If my novel hadn't been so rejected, I wouldn't have learned how to publish books or started my own publishing company."
That's a quote from Bill Henderson, editor and publisher of Pushcart Press, who gave me a great interview about rejection that's now posted in the Celebrity Corner at
http://rejectioncollection.com/rcollection/index.php3?story_id=286
Take a look - I guarantee you'll be inspired. And don't forget to check out Bill's fantastic compendium on historical rejections, "Pushcart Press' Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections."
4) MORE MEDIA TIDBITS
Rejectioncollection.com, may not be the media darling that it was last
month, but we still have a few exciting items to report.
*Bringing Rejection to the Office.com
For example, Marianne Mancusi's write-up in office.com, "Writers Share Their Rejections Online." Office.com is a site directed at small to medium-sized businesses that receives more than 2 million unique visitors on an average month. I especially loved the sidebar entitled, "Couldn't They Just Have Said No?" with quotes from some of the nastiest letters on the site. To read this excellent summary of what the site is all about, go to
http://www.office.com/global/0,2724,347-22425_1,FF.html
*Writer's Digest Wakes Up and Smells the Rejected Java
Yes, the biggest magazine for writers has taken note of L'il Ole
Rejectioncollection.com! I was thrilled to learn we've made the list of the 101 Top Sites for 2001, which will be announced in their May issue and posted on their web site, www.writersdigest.com.
*Ferreting Out Yet Another Award
We also received the 6' Ferret Writer's Group's "Golden Ferret Award of Excellence" for February 2001. The group was formed in Connecticut in 1989 to "foster the development of local authors' work through honest but fair criticism." To read their tips on starting a writer's group, go to http://pages.cthome.net/6ft_ferrets/
*Dutch Treat
How they found me, I don't know, but WebWereldNieuws, a big Dutch web
publication that seems similar to wirednews.com, recently featured
rejectioncollection.com as a link of the day, and as a result I got a bunch of visitors from the lowlands, which I thought was really cool. The article read
"Gedeelde smart ... Even lekker gniffelen als je leest waarom anderen
die baan niet kregen. Geniet van een hele collectie afwijzingsbrieven."
Which as I loosely translate, means, "This is the most brilliant website ever to hit the 'Net in any language." (Since I don't speak a word of Dutch, this may not be exact.) Rejectioncollection was also mentioned in a similar Belgian publication, written (I think) in Flemish. If anyone knows more about this, please let me know.
*A Distinguished Alumna -- Or Is That 'us'?
Finally, for the first time I was written up in the magazine of my alma mater, Barnard College, whose alumnae include such prolific and successful creative geniuses as Erica Jong, Anna Quindlen, Martha Stewart, etc. etc. Everyone else in the mag gets noticed for their incredibly brilliant and high-visibility careers, their lucrative business endeavors, their charming, well-heeled and non-dysfunctional families and/or brilliant social connections... but not me. I'm now famous among my peers (thanks to Merri Rosenberg's elegantly crafted and well-honed article, "Making Something Out of Rejection") for being a rejected writer. (The article is posted on the
site under "Press Clips.") Think an invite to speak at the next commencement is in the offing? How about an honorary degree in the sociology of rejection?
*THE RHETORIC OF REJECTION?
Speaking of matters academic, I recently received an email from Shannon Riley-Kilgore, who is writing a term paper about the rhetoric of rejection, using rejectioncollection.com as a resource. Shannon is a senior at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, Oregon. Here's how she describes what she's doing:
"Rhetoric, as I'm understanding it, is the study of how people convey
meaning to other people through the use of written, spoken, or visual media. Discourse communities differentiate themselves from other discourse communities through language use (i.e., medical language differs from legal language). I want to study the language of rejection letters in order to determine how the editorial community (producer) conveys meaning to the community of writers (interpreter)."
Pretty cool, huh? I think it's a brilliant idea, and I can't wait to see Shannon's paper. I'm hoping she'll let me post a portion of it on the site.
6) REJECTION EXPERTISE LANDS ME LOCAL SPEAKING GIG
On Tuesday, March 20, I'll be giving a talk on "The Rewards of Rejection" to the monthly meeting of the Westchester Writers' Roundtable at the Sea Star Diner, 285 Mamaroneck Avenue in White Plains at 6:30 p.m. Any locals reading this newsletter, feel free to drop by!
7) THIS MONTH'S WINNING LOSER
I just have to give March's Rejectioncollector of the Month Award to the poem submitted by my favorite poet/seer from Syracuse, Joan Cofrancesco. Since "Dear Writer" (adapted from a poem in Joan's book "Riding on Dragons") is fairly short, I'll paste it here.
Dear Writer,
We regret that the manuscript
does not meet the needs
of the magazine
at this time. You see,
even though your poems
show suffering and knowledge
of the ass of the devil,
the edge of death and madness
rejection by men and women
the weirdness of advertising, the magic of
astrology and love
confrontation with the muse's ass,
and the knowledge of the cosmos,
we regret to say
that you have just not starved, gambled, and
died enough,
Please try us again
after you've risked some REAL danger,
Until then SUFFER, SUFFER, SUFFER.
Regretfully,
The Editors
I love this poem because it plays into all the inner insecurities of poets and writers who are way too quick to internalize rejections, i.e., 'They must be right. My poem must suck and I'm a lousy poet and in fact a lousy person and I'll never amount to anything in this world.'
TIP: If you can get a laugh from this poem, you can laugh at your own
rejection letters, too!
Joan will receive a copy of Bill Henderson's "Pushcart's Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections" and a cool T-shirt. And now a word from our sponsor...
***"The Taming of a Nag? Much Ado About a Shrew? Yes, even Shakespeare had his bad days. With our whimsical Formerly Worn By Shakespeare T-shirt we can all find comfort knowing that even the great bard had writer's block...if only for a few minutes."
So explains The Secondhand Stuff Company, the sponsor for our
Rejectioncollector of the Month Contest. 'Stuff' which will provide each Rejectioncollector of the Month with a Shakespeare T-shirt, also produces aprons, mugs and sweatshirts from the famous and infamous including Michelangelo, Beethoven, Hillary, Attila the Hun, General Patton and more. Artifacts are stamped with the Hysterical Society Seal Of Authenticity. Formore info, visit Secondhand Stuff at www.formerlywornby.com or call them at 800.965.4603.***
8) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
"While rejection stings like a slap on the behind, it motivates,
stimulates - why it's downright enlivening - it forces this writer to review anew the training of a lifetime."
From a "Rewards of Rejection" entry by V.L. Settle
"Even the many other times when I've spotted that dreaded S.A.S.E. mailer bag with my own handwriting on the label, waiting patiently for me in my mailbox like a lost puppy glad to be back home, I still chuckle and say to myself, "ok, next time; this one was just practice." And I immediately remind myself of some very recent, even if small, triumph-- a good performance, a commission, a grant, a compliment someone paid me.
And then, yes, perhaps I'll pour myself an adult beverage."
From a "Rewards of Rejection" entry by a Los Angeles composer.
"It is a widely known fact - or at least, a widely held belief - that
negative criticism is more entertaining to read than enthusiastic
endorsement. There is certainly no doubt that many critics write pans with an unbridled gusto that seems to be lacking in their (usually rarer) raves, and these critics often become more famous, or infamous, than their less caustic colleagues."
Peter Schickele, from his foreword to Nicolas Slonimsky's "Lexicon of
Musical Invective" entitled "If You Can't Think of Anything Nice to Say,Come Sit Next To Me."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language."
From a rejection letter to Rudyard Kipling, quoted in "Pushcart's Complete
Rotten Reviews and Rejections."
Cheers for now!
Cathy
cathy@rejectioncollection.com
Letter From the Publisher
Well, on Jan 11, 2001, I finally got my long-awaited moment in the limelight - not for my brilliant fiction or my witty, incisive nonfiction writing (natch) but for being a rejected writer. Well, obscure nobodies can't be choosers. I took what I could get: A feature article in The New York Times about my rejection site and, afterwards, other members of the media clamoring for my attention (well, two radio stations, anyway), along with more than 96,000 "hits" which translated into more than 2,000 new visitors to the web site and a barrage of wonderful new letters and rejection stories and some very supportive emails.
I was also interviewed by my respected and vastly more experienced sister webmistress Jenna Glatzer, for her wonderful web site, www.AbsoluteWrite.com. Read the interview at http://absolutewrite.com/freelance_writing/catherine_wald.htm and my article "How I Turned Rejection Into Publication" at http://absolutewrite.com/freelance_writing/the_write_stories.htm.
Meanwhile, Don Selby, the co-editor of the vastly popular poetry site, Poetry Daily (www.poems.com) was so taken with rejectioncollection.com that he added my banner to his site, and I'm happy to say that more poets have been coming by as a result. (Anyone with even the remotest interest in poetry should check out Poetry Daily's Poem of the Day - it's cool.)
I was also interviewed by Marianne Mancusi of www.office.com. I'll let you know where it's posted in the next newsletter.
Back to the whole fame thing -- now I suppose you want me to tell you how shallow it all was, how quickly it passed, and how empty it left me feeling. Sorry to disappoint you, but I LOVED it! I enjoyed every nanosecond of my 15 minutes of fame, and weeks afterward, the afterglow remains; in fact, I'm lusting for more. Look, if I can't became famous as an acclaimed author, I don't mind becoming known as a rejected writer and champion of rejected writers the world over. I'm sure I could do worse. (How, I don't exactly know, but that's beside the point.)
Oh, and now, of course, it's time to say thanks to all the "little people" who made this all possible. Removing my tongue from the spot where it is usually imbedded in my cheek, let me say that the support I've received ever since the Times article appeared has been really gratifying to me. People "got" what the site is all about, and sent in a ton of fantastic stories. The site is much richer and fuller now, which makes it all the more fun to visit for everyone. And, sniff, sniff, it gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe embarking on this crazy thing wasn't totally delusional, after all...
I'd also like to thank my wonderful web site designer, Brian Bonini of gfx-design in Norfolk, Va., for his unstinting support during my rapid ascent to temporary high visibility. He's the one who made the site look as great as it does, and he's also the one who holds my hand (electronically, that is) when I have a sudden inspiration for a site change or my e-mail goes down for no discernible reason. If you want to offer your condolences to Brian, or better yet, hire him, you can reach him at brian@gfx-design.com or visit his website, www.gfx-design.com
'Delilah' Meets 'Samson'
One of the really cool things that happened as a result of my brief glimmer of fame was that I was invited to appear on two BBC 4 radio programs (or "programmes" as they are called on the other side of the pond), FrontLine and Outlook. This involved me going down to the BBC studio in New York City and sitting in a little booth which reminded me fondly of the old language labs I spent so many hours in in college (I was a French major) and listening through headphones to an announcer in London along with other guests who included a representative of the publishing industry who seems to relish the idea of decimating aspiring writers with a slash of his pen.
Our editor in London (I'll just call him 'Samson') sends out 5,000 rejection letters per year. He b |
